15 Minutes

Here's to making giant messes even if the clean up lasts longer than the painting......

Memorial Day Weekend

We decided to have our third annual garage sale this weekend, which turned out to be really poor planning since one of the larger local neighborhoods was hosting their (25th?) annual garage sale complete with food vendors. That's right, there were food vendors there....our sad little sale could not compete with fresh kettle cooked popcorn.....

I decided to take the kids over to see what all the fuss was about conveniently getting them out of the house before they noticed any of their old toys had made it to the sale table.  They have a really hard time letting go of old toys.  Unfortunately, when we returned the sale had not been as successful as we had hoped and David zeroed in on the kitty keyboard that was the bane of our existence for about six months before we retired it to the basement (where we put excess toys away to see if the boys really miss them before retiring them in a more permanent fashion).  He didn't notice it was gone, but he sure did notice it was on the sell table.....now it's back in the playroom and we have to start all over again.

Disclaimer:  We don't make it a habit to sneakily get rid of beloved toys but if you buy us a keyboard that has the option to go into "cat" mode and instead of piano noises you get "meows," we will hide it from the children and/or take the batteries out and fain ignorance when they ask why it's "broken".........


Just so you know I'm not a completely hateful toy snatching mom, while we were checking out the other garage sale extravaganza I did give each of the boys one dollar to hunt for treasures with.  The last time we went garage sale-ing David picked out a completely reasonable little metal car and Henry chose a sweet earless horse.  This time....things didn't work out as well.  David chose this 25 cent wonder:

Don't be fooled, this may look like a harmless Fisher Price train-on-a-string, but no--it's a Christmas Fisher Price train-on-a-string and as we began to walk away with our new prize it began to sing Christmas carols......David was beyond excited....."your welcome!" yelled the mom who had just rid herself of this monstrosity....thanks other mom.....thanks a lot......

The trip wasn't a total disaster though.  I found this "pirate ship" (according to Henry's keen nautical eye) for $10.  I have no idea what model ships are worth but this looked really neat and I'm planning on putting it in the boys room as soon as they realize it's not a toy.....so maybe never........

Chris decided to go into school today to get ahead in his studying so we can take a couple of three day weekends in June so the boys and I walked down to our local Memorial Day parade by ourselves.  I think it's the first parade they've been to where they really understood what was happening--they thought it was pretty much the best thing ever.......

I'm not sure but I think David might have been enjoying himself......

......right up until the percussion section passed by..........

They were only mildly upset that there wasn't a single piece of candy thrown during the whole parade.  I didn't realize you could have a parade and not throw candy at the spectators but apparently you can, I don't know why you'd want to though.........

A Day at the Park

I've been hearing some complaining that there are hardly ever any pictures of me on the blog.......this, coupled with the fact that Chris' photo taking skills were called into question resulted in a park photo shoot with Chris determined to prove himself in the camera department.  Drum roll please.......

Apparently Henry is not amused.......well, maybe a little amused......

Ah, what would the ducks like today?  I know, some left over PB&J crusts....delicious..........

Why is it that mommy always ends up holding the half-eaten fruit?

Henry, after noticing mommy and "Da-did" frolicked their way down the path without him while dad had a forced photo shoot......I know sweetie, I know.....mommy doesn't like it when daddy makes me pose for pictures either...........

The neighborhood family of ducklings.....for some reason they wouldn't get any closer than this......even after Henry threw some gravel in for them to snack on....apparently gravel isn't super enticing for baby ducks......

All of the duck feeding, bridge sitting, pooh sticks playing, and path skipping obviously ended with some toe dipping......did I say dipping, I meant ridiculous splashing........

With a final culmination of mulch pile climbing.  Who could resist a giant mountain of mulch?  Not my men........who needs playground equippment when there are so many better options available............

Brotherly Love

What Must the Librarian Think?

I recently had our library pull a few parenting books for me...I was a little embarrassed walking up to the desk to pick them up and I'm sure the librarian took one look at the boys and thought to herself...mmmmm....I see......

Really I was desperate.   The discipline techniques we were using were just really not working....I know, I know, you can tell me I just wasn't being consistent all you want, but the fact is discipline was making me angry and David angry and we were in an angry discipline merry-go-round and I wanted to get off!

As I began plowing through these books I surprised myself with the realization that I preferred the ones that leaned toward attachment parenting.  I always thought I liked a behavioral approach to discipline...you do X, child responds with Y....if they don't behave you make them behave, easy and done.  As I was reading these, especially Playful Parenting and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk), I began to see that I never really even considered the boys' feelings or how those feelings could be affecting their behavior.   I just wanted them to do what I wanted when I wanted!

I've also always assumed attachment parenting and permissive parenting were one and the same, but after reading these books I have to admit that I was wrong.  I've seen some real positive changes just in the past two weeks by implementing some fairly simple ideas.  While I don't think you'll find me nursing a three year old on the cover of Time any time in the near future (and really, I seriously doubt that anyone who does practice extended nursing ever does so in such an overtly sexualized pose with their child standing on a stool--I imagine it's more of an attachment parenting snuggle) I do think I'll be looking more seriously into this attachment parenting stuff :)


Anyway, here are some of my favorite pointers--which are a mishmash from all of these books--which is probably obnoxious, but if you are interested in any of these I would definitely recommend Playful Parenting
and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk....I even think I'll be buying copies for myself so I can refer back to them--oh yeah, they're that good!   Sorry in advance if you don't read my blog to get parenting tips--mostly I just wanted to write these down so I can see them again when I start to forget them......which is bound to happen before too long........

Random Parenting Tips:

• Assume a positive motive for your child's actions.  Assuming (as, let's face it,  I often do) that the boys are deliberately trying to be naughty/upset me/make me spill my tea and all around deliberately ruin my day is never helpful.  When I assume a positive intent (i.e. "you hit your brother over the head with the puzzle because you really wanted to have a turn with that school bus and you didn't think he was sharing"--not that that's ever happened here.....) I stay calmer, David stays calmer and instead of yelling something along the lines of "Why would you do that!  Go to time out and you can get up when I say you can get up!"--which of course I have also never done--I have the opportunity to teach him what he should have done instead and he doesn't feel like an angry, misunderstood, naughty failure at toy sharing and at life in general :)
• Offer two positive choices (as opposed to one positive and one horrifically negative one which is what my "choices" had degraded to before!)--"Do you want to put your coat on forward or backward?" or "Do you want to hop to the door or dance?"
•  Empathize.  A simple "you're really upset because you wanted to play at the park and you can't" is often enough for David to calm the beginnings of a tantrum and even if he does cry, saying "it's okay to be sad and cry when you're upset" usually calms down tantrums too.  I've realized in the past couple of weeks that he really just wants someone to recognize and validate his feelings and then he moves right on.
• Be playful!  When I keep a playful tone I don't get as angry and I can discipline and redirect with ease.  If I feel like screaming, I've been trying to pretend to scream and that has done wonders for keeping me calm and letting the boys know I'm angry but not in a scary/threatening way.  Silliness has been diffusing even the most tense discipline situations around here and we've all been so much happier for it.  Also, (and this is so obvious I'm embarrassed to admit it was a huge insight for me) the more I play with the boys and give them my full and undivided attention the less they act up and try to get said attention in, shall we say, less desirable ways.  
• Prevent instead of punish--this probably goes along with playing and paying better attention.  If I'm more focused on the boys I can more easily recognize a problem before it occurs.  
• Show children how to make amends--if they spill something tell them where the rag is to wipe it up, if they break something show them how to fix it--don't punish them, just let them make up for it on their own.  
• Get children to problem solve--tell them you can't allow them to hit, spit, throw, etc. and you and the child need to make a list of things they could do instead--write them down together and post them somewhere.  I haven't tried this yet but it sounds like it's worth a go :)  
• Set clear limits, follow through by stopping the offending behavior and give meaningful or natural consequences.   As Playful Parenting puts it, "in the rush to punish children, we forget that the essence of discipline is to teach.”
• Help children deal with their feelings by giving them their wishes in fantasy.  Giving David his wishes in fantasy has been by far the most successful advice we have implemented.  When he starts to get upset--when it's time to leave the park for instance--he usually starts in with that whining voice that is the bane of every parent's existence......"but I want to staaaaaayyyy at the paaaaaaark...."   Instead of trying to explain to him all of my very valid reasons for needing to leave, I simply respond with something along the lines of "me too, I wish we could stay at the park all night, and live here forever, we could sleep under the slide and cuddle up with the ducks to keep us warm...."  Instead of whining about the fact that we are leaving, he starts imagining with me all of the fun things we could do if we lived at the park and miracle of miracles, he happily trots along with me to the car.

I also loved the idea that we need to "let go of [our] expectation that [our] child can give up what she wants in order to follow [our] wishes and still be happy about it…[And] stop trying to control [our] child’s feelings.  She has a right to all of her feelings.  Without them, she would be lost.  Feelings serve us as our core system for discerning right from wrong.   Feelings are our moral navigators.  We do not need to stop having them.  We need to express them more appropriately” (Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline: The 7 Basic Skills for Turning Conflict into Cooperation).  How often do I want the boys to immediately stop doing whatever task they were happily engaged in and do what I want them to do, without complaining, and on top of that to slap a smile on their faces and be happy about it?  Maybe it wasn't my most realistic parenting expectation :)


Well, I hope some of these ideas will be as helpful to you as they have been to me and really I can't recommend those two books enough.  I think my parenting has been changed forever.....well, I hope it has been anyway!

I'll leave you with a final note from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk:  "Let's not cast ourselves in roles...good parent, bad parent, permissive parent, authoritarian parent.  Let's start thinking of ourselves as human beings first, with great potential for growth and change.  The process of living or working with children is demanding and exhausting.  It requires heart, intelligence, and stamina.  When we don't live up to our own expectations--and we won't always--let's be as kind to ourselves as we are to our youngsters.  If our children deserve a thousand chances, and then one more, let's give ourselves a thousand chances--and then two more."

Boxes Are For....

...transforming into super amazing car garages........

This morning after several instances of rebuilding the garages we had made out of blocks, after a certain someone kept knocking them down, I asked David if he would like to build one out of boxes.  This innocent question was followed by a hysterical fit about wanting to make trains out of boxes instead of garages........what can I say, the boy loves his box trains.

After some minor consoling and showing him some pictures of box garages I've found online, he cheered right up and wanted to get straight to work.

I've seen some different ideas for cardboard garages here and here but I really liked this one with all of the interior ramps.  Who doesn't love sending a car careening down a hidden ramp only to have it pop out on the other side?

I can name at least two boys who think it's hilarious......

I made ours with two different interior ramps, one garage (a box glued to the inside with a door cut out) and one exterior ramp to get to the parking deck on top.  The whole thing only took about an hour to put together and I learned that hot glue guns and cardboard boxes make for much stronger buildings than I would have ever thought possible.  I probably could have made it prettier if I'd put more (okay any) planning into it, but the boys wanted the garage to be finished about ten minutes after we started building it and let's face it, they don't care if it's pretty......

A few parking spaces drawn on in permanent marker and they were happy.......

I'd say it was a morning well spent :)

A Masterpiece

David and I have been painting with watercolors again....apparently he has recently come to disdain this particular medium but he humored me for a half an hour or so......the train was mostly me.......

Happy Mother's Day to Me

This year Mother's Day was difficult.....difficult because I had to face the day without Katharine and difficult  because of the 3 AM wakeup I got from Henry who was out of his blankets and upside down in his bed begging me to "cover him." This was followed by another wakeup at 3:15 in which he grabbed my hand with his own unfortunately wet hand and begged me to "dry it off."  It was vomit.  He needed oh so much more than just to be dried off.

Such is the life of a mom.  But you know it's worth it.....

I found this this week in my book of meditations In Conversation with God: Meditations for Each Day of the Year (which you really should buy already...I promise it's totally worth it!)

"At all times, and no less in ours, Christian women play a most important part in the apostolate and in the handing on of the faith.  Women are called to bring to the family, to society and to the Church, characteristics which are their own and which they alone can give:  their gentle warmth and untiring generosity, their love for detail, their quick-wittedness and intuition, their simple and deep piety, their   constancy.  The Church expects from women commitment and witness to all that contributes to the dignity of the human person and furthers their true happiness.

When these qualities with which God has endowed women grow and develop, her life and work will be really constructive, fruitful and full of meaning, whether she spends the day dedicated to her husband and children or whether, having given up the idea of marriage for a noble reason, she has given herself fully to other tasks.


Each women in her own sphere of life, if she is faithful to her divine and human vocation, can and in fact does achieve the fullness of her human personality.  Let us remember that Mary, Mother of God and Mother of men, is not only a model but also proof of the transcendental value of an apparently unimportant life."

The proof of the transcendental value of an apparently unimportant life...I love it....and really, who could look at these guys and say this work of mine is unimportant?

On a brighter note, Chris had this little (big?) beauty (the Zojirushi Home Bakery Supreme 2-Pound-Loaf Breadmaker) waiting for me as my gift.  Or does the promise of fresh baked bread make this count as a gift for himself?

My first loaf of whole wheat honey sandwich bread....a little flat but I call it a success!  

Law School Graduation

It's finally happened.  After three long years of *mostly* sitting in a library and reading my husband has officially graduated from law school....and not just graduated but graduated with honors....he stubbornly refuses to boast about himself so I have to do all of the bragging for him!  He graduated magna cum laude along with only four others in his class--I always knew he was a closet smarty pants, he just needed to apply himself to his studies :).  I was tearing up at the ceremony just thinking of how proud I am of him and everything he's accomplished....

.....in fact, everybody's proud of him.....

I wanted to do something really special to celebrate so naturally we threw a party for Chris and the rest of his study group whose presence in a class struck fear into the hearts of the rest of the students.......

I made a whole lot of bunting using this tutorial and strung it up with twine all across our patio.  I was really excited because most of it was *upcycled* from fabric I already had lying around plus some of Chris' old shirts and one hole-y sheet!  I also stitched up a "good luck" banner....that's good luck  as opposed to congratulations because really, although law school is over, they all still have to keep their noses buried in their books until they pass their respective Bar examinations later this summer, and then Chris has an additional ten weeks of Navy law school to go after that......

I also had copies of  Black's Law Dictionary set out as guest books for all the grads' family and friends to sign as a keepsake (we didn't buy them all, almost everyone already had one!).  Our niece Bella who is very excited to be able to write her name, sweetly signed Mr. Leroy's book instead of uncle Chris' in giant four year old print.  I'm sure he will always remember her now and all of her precious jokes :)

We decided to rent tables and chairs since we didn't already happen to have seating for fifty lying around.  Mr. Leroy also splurged and rented a tent for the occasion which turned out to be a very good idea as it was HOT outside and the shade was much appreciated by all!

I also went a little crazy with the flowers....The aforementioned Bella said upon inspecting my handiwork, that she had been to our house before but it had never been fancy like this before......

We also provided entertainment for our guests with free wagon rides courtesy of grandpa Reintjes and a cornhole game that Chris constructed from this tutorial and I apparently neglected to take a picture of....

The very happy graduates.......

I know Chris and I will both miss all of the wonderful friends we've made here and we will be sorry to have to leave them behind but at the same time we are looking forward to all of the adventures that lie ahead......

Creative Boating

It's been raining for the past two days here...and cold....The kids have been detoxing from a week of hot outdoor fun in North Carolina to a cold wet mess here and they've been behaving accordingly.  Add to that the fact that I've turned my kitchen table into a temporary sewing station and have been up to my ears in pieces of fabric and loose threads trying to finish up my projects for our graduation party and you've got two cranky kids who want my attention.

In a moment of parenting genius (all to few and far between) I decided to say yes to their demands to take their boats to the river to play and we made our own river right through the living room.....complete with blue fabric for our river, a castle, pirates and of course crocodiles to chase said pirates.

It's their new favorite game which is only slightly obnoxious in the sense that it requires me to constantly build new castles as their second favorite game is knock down the castle......

Bubbles are for Bathing

Now that I've got my fancy new camera and lens I can finally take the obligatory bath time bubble pictures in our low-light-situation bathroom that don't involve the flash going off :)

Enjoy.....I know they sure did......