Friday, August 23, 2013

On Inappropriate Pictures

I know, I just said that David tends to draw in verbs....but now I can also say he sometimes draws in adjectives.  Very specific, anatomically correct adjectives--like in this self portrait for instance:

After showing me his masterpiece and pointing out each of his various body parts, both private and public (and after I convinced him to draw some undies and clothes on himself) he asked me to draw an anatomically correct self portrait as well.


David:  But I want to know what lady parts look like.

Me:  (crying on the inside)  Lady parts are private and special honey.  Ladies don't show their lady parts to boys.  

David:  That's not true.  Your num nums are private but you show them to John Michael all the time when he's milking you.

Me:   (face palm)  Number one, John Michael is not milking mommy.  John Michael is drinking mommy's milk.  You milk a cow.  There is a difference.  I don't care if there's not a difference, that's just not how we say it.  Number two, it is okay for babies to see their mommy's num nums, you just don't look at other lady's num nums who aren't feeding babies.

David:  (blank look)

Me:  I'm not drawing you a picture of lady parts.

David:  (undeterred)  Well, then I'm going to ask the librarian for a book all about lady parts so I can learn all about them myself.

This is the problem with not having any sisters.

He's been popping "lady parts" questions on me at random moments for a couple of months now, hoping to catch me off guard, but he must be getting desperate if he's resorted to trying to trick me into drawing him a picture.  I think I might have settled the question at the zoo this week when a pair of otters swam by and I pointed out the differences between the boy and the girl--I suppose only time will tell.......

On the positive side, apparently he's internalized the message that you can learn anything you want to know about from books.

If anyone has any tips on talking to little boys about the differences between them and little girls I would love to hear them.  I generally pass these types of inquiries to Chris but I think his explanation that girls are "inside out" has done more to peak David's curiosity than satisfy it.  

In the mean time I guess I can expect a lot more pictures like this one:

And grandma and grandpa Reintjes can just let me know if they would like me to send them the original to hang up in their new place :)


  1. I am DYING laughing. This is hilarious - the drawings, "milking," the library comment... Too funny!

    1. Thank you! I couldn't decide if I should talk about "lady parts" on the blog but in the end it was really too funny not to share :)

  2. OMG!!!!!! PLEASE let me know how you finally settle this one. We are leaving the bathroom door open, due to potty training interest, these days, and Scott keeps looking for my pee pee! And for Daddy's "buttons" (where he got that one, I'll never know!). Goodness! BOYS!

  3. I came over here because you posted so amusingly on Rosie's blog, and I'm so glad I did! This is hilarious!

    We were at a pet shop (or was it a petting zoo?) once when a mouse (or was it a—what was it?) was giving birth. (Okay, that sentence is a failure, but you get the idea.) The kids were about 2, 4, 6, and 8 at the time, and they were completely fascinated. Maybe there's a video of mammals having babies that you could show David. Just a thought. My boys are bookends around my girls, and of course they bathed together when they were little, so we never got those questions.

    1. That could work, although the boys still think babies "pop out" of belly buttons so that might be lady parts information overload :)

  4. So hilarious! That last picture had me cracking up!! :)

    1. I know! I'm not sure why grandpa Reintjes is so grumpy in the picture....maybe because he forgot to put on his pants when he took the dogs for a walk?

  5. That's hilarious. I think it's best to just be honest about it. The more secret something is the more a kid wants to know. I think I would get a book. When Noah was 4 we looked through my anatomy and physiology college text book. We talked about bones, muscles, body parts, and saw the development of a baby in the womb. They were just drawings.

  6. Hilarious!! And the pictures, too funny!!


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