Wednesday, December 16, 2015

On Having a Bit of Consolation

We've been doing pretty well here, the stomach bug is gone, the tree is up and Advent is back on track.  I'm still grieving but it's hard to fall into a pit of despair when there's so much that needs to be done.  The last time we went through the loss of a child it was in the beginning of Lent which felt like a much more appropriate time to wallow and process our grief.  Now everything around me is pointing to the birth of a child, the birth of The Child, and it's a constant reminder that unlike Mary I am no longer heavy with child.  On the other hand, unlike during Lent, Advent provides no end to every sort of chocolate treat imaginable to help me drown my sorrows, so at least there's that.

And also unlike last time, I have this precious little one who is very much still a baby, my baby, and still needs to be held and rocked and nursed and cuddled and who is such a consolation to my weary heart.

We have lost much, but we still have much to be thankful for--sweet baby snuggles and candy for dinner to name a few.

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