Sunday, November 17, 2013

In Which I Tell You to Stop Texting Me

The baby has murdered my phone.

I'm not sure how exactly because I didn't actually observe the execution but when the phone was found it was definitely covered in baby drool so I'm pretty sure that rules out the older boys.......

Now my old phone, may it rest in peace, was not what you'd call fancy but it did have a keyboard on it so I could send and receive texts and pictures with limited amounts of fuss.  Well that's all over now because this is my current phone:

Oh yes, an oldie but a goody circa 2007.

Luckily for me Chris never has the catastrophic accidents that seem to plague my phones and he has a drawer full of old yet still functional phones that he can activate at a moments notice.  (This phone was actually once part of a matching pair but mine met its end in a glass of orange juice--catastrophic accidents I tell you!)

There was a brief discussion about him downgrading himself from his iphone to the old flip phone and giving me the fancy phone as a personal test of his manliness but in the end he realized that his manliness wasn't up to the challenge--I mean after all his schedule is on on there!--it's linked to his calendar for goodness sake!--how would he read the drudge report I ask you?--how would he know where his friends and family are located without having to actually speak to them?  I'm not the only one who still thinks iphones are a little creepy am I?

I still haven't gotten my contacts switched over to this phone yet because we haven't quite decided if I'm keeping it or not--so, sorry if you haven't heard from me lately--apparently I only know two phone numbers off the top of my head, Chris' and his dad's--because grandpa Reintjes' cell is the same as his old house phone number that I used to call quite a bit back in my younger days :)

I can't decide it I want to spring for the iphone or just keep this antique or upgrade to some non-internety option (if those still exist that is).  I'm not sure I can be trusted with the internet in my pocket--I mean I can barely be trusted with the internet in my laptop and also there's that tendency towards catastrophic cell phone accidents.....

All of this is to say, for heaven's sake please stop sending me text messages!

I don't have it in me to use hip texting slang, so in order to reply to you it will take me fifteen minutes to painstakingly scroll through each letter to spell out every word, with all the correct punctuation and smiley faces--you know, because I'd hate for you to think that I was unintelligent or rude or accidentally hurt your feelings with a complete lack of appropriate emoticons.  If you simply must text me let's just make a deal.  You only send me messages that require yes or no answers and I'll reply with either "Y" or "N" and we'll all agree that no one will be offended at my oh so concise replies.


Deal :)

I'm sure I'll let you know if my womanhood ends up being up to he challenge of the flip phone downgrade or if I too succumb to the allures of the internet phone, only time will tell......


  1. Hey, you can get an 8GB old version iphone on the applestore for zero dollars with a two year contract with Verizon. Since you aren't into it too much an 8GB would probably be okay for you. I have a 16GB. The new iphone color is about 99 dollars with a contract. Go for it! :-)

    1. I know, I just hate to have to spend the extra $30 a month on the data plan lame! :)

  2. Everyone down here in Mexico texts rather than talking, and many of us (I'm i this group) have cheap cell phones that look a lot like your old one - no keyboard. I was surprised to find out how quickly I got used to texting using that setup - it may not be lightning fast, but messages can get created fast enough, and who's in that much of a hurry anyway?

    1. Moms of three littles are in a hurry! :)


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